


The Evil That Men Do

by armitageadoration



Category: Pilgrimage (2017), Richard Armitage - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 03:06:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12003684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armitageadoration/pseuds/armitageadoration
Summary: Before the events in 1209 Ireland and the Pilgrimage of monks to take a relic to Rome, Raymond De Merville led a happy life with his family in northern France. His wife and children were his life. He loved and was loved, but then something happened. The something broke inside of Raymond, never to be repaired again.The character of Anastasie De Merville is portrayed as you the reader for most of the story.





	1. Chapter 1

You were sitting by the fire, knitting, when your two eldest son’s entered the chambers. At 16 and 15, their talk was of weaponry, horses, and of course a pretty lass that they both had their eyes on. You looked to your eldest, Sabastein.

“Is your father not with you Sabastein?”

“No mother.” He leaned down to kiss your cheek. “Grandfather angered him and he has not left the dining hall since.”

You nod and frown. Putting the knitting in a basket by the chair, you rise to find your husband.

“Mother, let him be for now. His mood is most foul.” Said Audric.

You kiss the second eldest’s cheek with a smile. “Boy! Yes, you are still a boy to your mother. I have never been afraid of your father for one moment. Do not wake your younger brothers, either of you. I shall return shortly.”

Exiting the family living quarters, you travel the length of the castle. Doors of the dining hall were still opened. There were only two candles left flickering to cast your brooding husband in shadows that were neither dark nor light.

So lost in his thoughts, he did not hear you enter. Instead, you drop a hand upon his shoulder. With reflexes that would make a cat jealous, he twisted your wrist and a second later let go. He knew it was you in an instant.

Still standing behind him, your hands slide down his chest. You rested your chin on his short dark hair.

“My Anastasie, what are you doing here?” He spoke quietly.

“Tis nearly time for bed and my bed will be lonely and cold if you are not there Raymond.”

Moving your arms, he pulled you to his lap. His fingers danced across the soft velvet of your gown and played with the swell of your belly. You would be giving him another child in just a few months time.

“I would like a little girl this time my Lioness.”

“That is in God’s hands now my love. For you, I will ask God for a girl child.” You smiled.

“Do you mock me wife?” He growled at you.

“But of course I do. Otherwise you would feel something was wrong.” You kissed his lips with warm laughter.

Raymond De Merville, your husband, smiled at you. He was considered a fearsome man. Rarely did he smile outside of to you and your sons. He was both a knight and a warrior, a highly skilled one at that. Many men had fallen to his sword, but to you he was the perfect picture of a loving husband. You both were born to aristocracy in France. Because of both of your fathers being lifelong friends, you had known each other most of your lives. You were one of the few of your class that had been able to marry for love. Although, it was also to establish a certain bit of power as well.

“Why are you angry my husband?”

“There is the potential for too many ears here Anastasie. Allow us to return to our own chambers.”

He picked you up in his arms as if you were nothing. You squeaked out a response to put you down. But he acted as if it was never heard. It was only at the heavy door to the family chambers that he set you down. He forced the door open to catch the surprised look of his two elder sons.

“Do not stay up too late lads. Your day tomorrow will be long.”

The boys said “Yes Sir” in unison. They were training to be soldiers and eventually knights, like their father. They lacked the ferociousness and love of the hunt that their father had. At the rate the boys were training, they would find it soon. You had no quarrels with the way they were trained. Mostly because they also had their father’s loving side.

You helped Raymond undress. The start of winter was upon northern France so when you were done, you added more wood to the fire. A goblet of wine was poured for him. Anyone seeing you perform the tasks would have thought that you were subjugated by Raymond. That was the furthest from the truth. You preformed the tasks out of love. You kissed Raymond right behind the ear before you sat behind your beloved. Your hands stroked the muscles of his neck and back to soothe the beast that had escaped Raymond’s inner control. Kisses followed massaging hands, he groaned softly with the pleasure of the ministrations. Moving backwards to lay back on the bed, you smiled when your husband laid his head upon your belly. You knew he would speak when he was ready. To soothe him and show him the love you had for him was far more important.

A single digit stroked the scar near his eye. You leaned down to kiss it. Raymond grabbed your hair and pulled the pins free. Long curling tresses veiled you both from everything but the love you shared. Sitting up, he pulled you over to help you undress. Like many of your time, you both loved and feared an unseen god. Yet you didn’t think that your god would mind you frolicking undressed with your husband. You were commanded to be fruitful and multiply after all.

“I think I fell in love with you the day I was born my Lioness.”

You laugh softly and shake your head. “You are older my love. I wasn’t even born yet.”

“It didn’t matter, I knew you would come to me.”

He was gentle. The kisses, the touches that enflamed your bare skin. You never needed any encouragement from him. You were always ready with your love and affection. The fire was the only light in the room now. It eventually burned itself down. Even then, neither of you noticed. Sweat slick skin slid against the other until the final moment in frenzy where you both lost yourselves to bliss.

You both stayed like that for a long while. The weight of Raymond’s body was thrilling upon you. No words were spoken while looking into each other’s eyes. Your hand stroked the back of his head, the dampness of his short hair brought a smile from both of you.

The two of you stayed connected for a long while, resting. Your eyes were closed but Raymond knew you were not asleep from the curve of a smile on your lips. Your eyes opened, gazing into his eyes once more. Your hand touched the side of his face, once again stroking against the scar.

“I love you Raymond De Merville. I will love you for eternity.”

“And I will love you even longer.” He kissed you again before turning to lay next to you.

“I remember when you got this scar.”

“Oh?” He grinned.

“Yes. I had gone to the village to make a purchase and one of the villagers was harassing me. My men had left, because I told them to find themselves a meal. I didn’t even know that you were there but you saw what was happening and attacked the man.”

“Ahh yes. We were already betrothed to each other and the thought of anyone laying a hand on you other than me pushed me to violence.”

“His knife cut you, so I cut his throat.”

Raymond laughed heartily. “That was the day you became my ferocious Lioness.” Raymond touched the scar himself. “You stitched the wound closed for me.”

“17 years ago. We were just children.”

“I beg your pardon my wife. I was man! A man of 15! You perhaps were still a child at 13.” Oh he was trying so hard to look serious but the loving grin from you made it impossible.

“What happened in the dining hall after the women all left so the men could speak to one another?”

He sighed. “There is talk of war or least the possibility of it. I am to leave in a fortnight and take Audric and Sabastein with me to the far west of France.”

Your brow creased. You didn’t understand why your father-in-law would wish his son and grandsons to be so far away. “Why so far? Will they attack here?”

“Father doesn’t believe they would have the gall to do such. I’m not so sure.”

“Will we go with you then?”

“No. A war camp is no place for a lady.”

You wanted to argue, but you couldn’t. He was your husband and you knew that Raymond would only do what he thought was best. So you put on a brave smile. “Tis’ fine my husband. I will keep myself and the younger two safe behind locked doors if need be.”

“Ah. My sensible Lioness. You have never let me down.”

You kissed him gently. “Of course not. I have never just been just your wife. I am your love, as you are mine. Also, I am your companion. ”

“You are and always will be the only woman for me. So many men are foolish. They don’t understand that women are very much our equals, if not our betters. Now we must rest. There is much to be done in the coming days. Believe me my Anastasie, if I thought you and our children were in any danger at all, I would not go on this campaign for my father.”

You curled up in his arms, your back to his chest. Scarred and calloused fingers stroked across the swell of your belly. “I know Raymond. I know.”

It was just two days before the men would leave. Raymond De Merville was walking along the ranks of his men. His younger brother was doing the same in an adjacent field. The air was cold but not unpleasant as you walked out of the castle and down to where your husband and two older sons would be. There was a crispness to the grass beneath your slippered feet. The hood of your cloak hid your hair and most of your face but, Raymond knew it was you just with a glance. His eyebrow raised. You didn’t normally come out of the castle to the armory. He told his men to keep going through the paces and walked over to you.

“My Lioness? Is anything wrong?”

“Your father wishes to see you m’Lord.”

Raymond went still. It was a code to state that something was very much wrong and he was needed immediately. You never called him Lord.

“Alain!” He called to his right hand man. “Keep the men going, I will return later.”


	2. Chapter 2

You looked to your husband with worry. You hated not knowing what was going on, for your father-in-law summoned Raymond as such and told your 3rd son to find him out on the field, you knew deep within your heart it would not be good. You had taken the 10 year old Baudri back to the family chambers to play with his 7 year old brother, Mace. You would go to your husband yourself.

When you finally made it to the armory and practice field, Raymond knew instinctively something was very wrong. You spoke in simple code and before you knew it, you both were headed back to the castle. He wouldn’t permit you go with him to speak to his father. Instead, he took you back to the family quarters.

“I love you my Anastasie. Everything will be fine, I promise you that.”

Your eyes filled with tears, you took a deep breath and nodded. He brushed a falling tear away with his thumb. You couldn’t help it when you threw your arms around his neck, holding tight to your husband.

“Raymond, you are my love, my life. Protect our sons. Please, I beg of you be careful. I love you.”

“I will return to you when I am finished with my father. Lock the door and open it to no one other than myself or our sons.”

“Even your father?’

“Especially my father.”

With worry that crushed your heart, you nodded. The door was locked after your husband left. The younger boys were playing in their room. All you could do was sit down before the fire and wait. Time seemed to go agonizing slow. Leaned back, your eyes were closed. You were nowhere near sleeping. Silent curses were leveled at your father-in-law. With the parting words from Raymond, obviously something was going on between him and his father. You wished that your mother-in-law was still among the living. She was able to soothe the savage beast that was Lord De Merville’s soul, just as you were able to do with his son.

There was a specific knock on the door. You ran to open it, knowing it was Raymond. When you looked at him, there was a scowl upon his face.

“We leave tonight for the west, father wishes for Sabastein and Audric to stay here.”

You called Baudri and Mace to the hearth giving them a chance to say goodbye to their father. Neither child quite understood why he was leaving. They kissed their Papa goodbye. You let them have time alone with their father. You wished to pack a few things for Raymond’s leaving. It was nothing much, a journal that held the passages of the Bible that were long ago memorized. There was a small crucifix added. You put in a piece of cloth embroidered with both of your initials. That piece of cloth was from the first night in your marriage bed. It was also the first time that you felt the full effect of the love from and for Raymond. Seventeen years later, that was all that was left of the cloth. With a sharp blade that had belonged to Raymond when he was still a child, you cut a lock of your long raven hair. Tying it with a ribbon, all the items were placed in a small leather bag.

Raymond came into the shared bed chambers. Standing behind you, he wrapped his arms around your belly.

“Are you angry my wife?”

“No, worried. Something feels wrong.” You frowned. Turning around, you drew your husband to your lips. There were tears in your eyes. “Please be safe my love. Not a moment will go by that I won’t worry, until you are safe in my arms once again.”

Raymond nuzzled your neck, nipping gently. You pulled him to the bed, sliding back against the heavy blankets. Drawing back further, you laid upon the bed, bringing him to the sheets with you.

“My wife, we do not have time.”

“The men cannot leave without you. We have all the time in the world.”

“Vixen!”

“You didn’t realize that before we created 4 children and one yet to be born?”

His hands forced your skirts up. Unable to help it, he ripped your drawers with bare hands. What man could resist such a treasure, Raymond thought. He pulled apart his breeches and slowly slid in to you. Your back arched. How perfect you felt, Raymond groaned against your bare throat. Legs came up, wrapping around his waist to pull him closer. His arm hooked your leg at the knee, opening you further. Each thrust was met with a lift of your hips. You both tried to stay quiet, as the children were awake.

One hand wrapped around your delicate wrists, holding them high above your head. Your laughter was sweet and warm. Still, even as his captive, your body arched. Biting lightly at his ear, you tugged it playfully. A whisper of words were sweet soft seduction in his ear. Wanton words meant to thrill and tease him, and they did.

He released your wrists, to turn you to your belly. He needed to be joined to you fully and deeply as possible. Taking you from behind, Raymond groaned. His hands dug into your hips, they were sure to leave your skin bruised. It would be your memento from this last act of coupling. Neither of you knew how long he would be gone. It could be months or even years, depending. You knew that both of you would hold tight to the wedding vows spoken so long ago.

Wet velvet walls began to clench tighter and tighter around his thickness. Biting down hard on your lip, you barely were able to keep from crying out. You buried your face into the blankets adoring the bed. It helped muffle the cries and moans of your own pleasure from the rest of the family outside the room. Your husband reached his bliss and buried his face in your hair. He pulled the coiled locks free before collapsing on to your back. It was difficult for you to keep the tears from flowing. Yet, you were able to do just that. There wasn’t time to curl up together in the happiness of your marital bed.

Raymond righted himself and helped you change from your ruined undergarments beneath the modest dress. He pulled you into his arms and held you there, wordlessly. Tipping your head back, he kissed you sweetly.

“I love you my Lioness. I will love you forever and a day.”

“I love you Raymond De Merville. I always have and always will. Please return to me safely.”

“I shall. You will not be rid of me so easily wife!”

It was a bittersweet smile. He took the bag from your hands, not looking into it, and left to join his men.

You prayed for hours on end for God to protect him. You begged your God to strike you down if he must, just protect your husband and children. You and your four boys walked outside with the other wives and children of the men leaving. The older two glowered angrily. They should have been riding out as well. Surely not staying home to protect their mother and younger brothers. Now you refused to cry, you must stay strong and proud. When the galloping of horses started you raised your chin and smiled. Raymond De Merville was at the head of the procession. He sat tall in the saddle, he was the most handsome man in the world in your eyes. His unbreakable will and no nonsense bearing showed his men that they were all strong and part of something greater than themselves. He stopped before you which was startling on his war horse. From his cloak, he pulled one of the last flowers to be seen as winter had started already set in. Giving you the flower, he raised his head, riding off and didn’t look back as the procession of men kept on.

“Boys, come. We need to return to the castle.”

Your eldest two tried to argue, all you had to do was cut them a look and Sabastein and Audric silenced immediately. Their father had trained them well, they were never to back talk you. Even once they became men, it was instilled into them. The same was with the younger two, who had only just begun their training.

“Back to the living area my boys. You all have time with your tutors shortly.” You smiled at their groans and complaints, but paid them no heed. They would all do as they were told.

You went off in search of your father-in-law. It took no time at all find him. He was alone in the dining hall, drinking. A servant pulled a chair out for you next to the older man, you sat waiting to be acknowledged.

“You are well Anastasie?”

“Yes Father, as are your grandsons.”

“That pleases me greatly. You and Raymond have done well with the boys.”

You bowed your head. “Thank you Father.”

“Did I ever tell you about the one and only time that Raymond drew a blade against me that was not in practice?”

“No, neither has Raymond.” You were puzzled. Why wasn’t you told of this?

The older man chuckled. “I was merely jesting the boy. I told him that I wasn’t going to allow him to marry you. Instead I was taking you for a second wife.”

Your lips parted, but you were unable to speak. Never had this story been told to your ears.

“I was joshing the poor boy. He was all of 16 and wanted nothing more to be married to you Anastasie. But yes, he drew a short blade. I was quite certain he would have drove in through me if I hadn’t started laughing and when his mother joined in, he truly knew it was just a jest after that.”

“I miss Lady De Merville Father.” You lowered your eyes in respect.

“I do as well my dear.” He patted your hand gently. “She loved you as one of her own.”

“I will be forever grateful for that.”

“I shall see you and my grandsons for dinner, yes?”

You nodded. “Of course father.”

“Rest daughter. I know this is a hard time for you.”

“Thank you.”

You went up to the family chambers. It was fairly quiet since the boys were paired off with their tutors. You took your favored seat by the fire and picked up knitting. It was something mindless to do. Worry weighed heavily on your heart. You said another prayer, asking for god to keep your husband safe once again.


	3. Chapter 3

You took your children downstairs to the dining hall. It would be just the five of you and your father-in-law this evening. The meal was a hearty one for four growing boys. The first bite you took, you felt ill. Taking a sip of wine made it even worse. You took off as fast as the heavy skirts would permit. Envy for the easier clothing that the men were permitted flowed through your brain as you lost what little you had in your stomach.

Drenched in a cold sweat, your immediate concern was your unborn child. Your lady’s maid came quickly to your aid. Bathing your face with a cold wet rag, the maid felt the hot tears that slid down your cheeks.

Sabastein came running around the corner after you. He skidded to a stop when he saw the mess.

“Mother! What is wrong?” His deepening voice called out in alarm.

“Nothing my son. Dinner was just not to my liking. Go. Go back and finish your meal and bring your brothers back to the quarters when you can.”

“Mother……”

“I’m fine. Do not worry.

You realize he had never seen you ill before. Even in the early days of your three other pregnancies, you did not leave your bedroom until you were fine. You smiled gently at your boy.

“Truly, I am fine Sabastein.”

“May I help you to your room Mother?”

“Nay child. I can go by myself.” You called for a servant to clean up the mess. Your maid was too delicate for such a task, or so everyone seemed to believe. Sabastein reluctantly returned to the dining hall.

“Mistress, what may I do for you?” Your maid asked.

“Nothing, sweet Nathalie. I truly am fine.” Dismissing her, you went up to your bedroom. Sighing softly. The apprehension of Raymond leaving was the problem, you knew this. But it was a strange premonition of something worse to come.

You stayed mostly to yourself the next two days. The maid brought up food, but you mostly just picked at it. You could hear Raymond’s voice scolding you in the silence of your bedroom. The thought made you smile and eat a bit more.

The first snow had started to fall. Blanketing the nearby village and the castle grounds in white. You finally left your room that second day. Taking a walk to one of the castle’s turrets. You could see far up here. It was also the place where you and Raymond had your first taste of each other in chaste kisses. It was here that he swore a blood oath, that he would protect you and honor your love. The blood still stained a piece of wood against one of the doors. When he had been gone before, you always came up here to think and speak to his shadow of blood.

For some reason, you looked up and over the village. What caught your eye was alarming. Plumes of thick smoke were off in the distance, it was past where the small forest ended. Cursing beneath your breath, you ran down the twisting stairs. Possibly this time you ran faster than you had ran since you were just a child, you ran in search of Raymond’s father. You collided with him in one of the halls. His mass knocked you to your backside, accidently.

“Anastasie!” He helped you to your feet. “What is wrong?”

“Father! Oh Father, there is smoke to the south, past the clearing of trees.”

“What do you speak of?”

You dragged your father to the entrance and the guards opened the door. Pointing out, the smoke was higher and thicker. His face turned the color of ash.

“Get inside girl! I need to raise the alarm and get the men moving. Both of my sons are gone with their men.”

“No! Sabastein and Audric are outside practicing! I must get them.”

“Have one of the men do it.”

Your voice was quiet. “I must do it.” And out you ran.

To the stables you ran. Taking your mount and not worrying with a saddle, you mounted her in your long dress. It didn’t matter. You had ridden from such a young age, that the skirt wasn’t a hindrance at all. Your hands held tight to the reins. A sharp kick, you were off across the fields in search of your two sons.

“SABASTIEN, AUDRIC! TO THE CASTLE NOW!”

The two young men were more in shock of seeing you ride in such a way that they didn’t ask any questions and just obeyed. You thundered to the front gate and dismounted. Your horse took a slap to her rear and as she was trained, she went back to the stables obediently. Your sons did the same thing. Taking their hands you ran back with them into the castle. A sigh of relief crossed your lips.

“My boys, go to the kitchen and fill as many jugs of water as you can and bring them to the food cellar.”

“What is wrong mother?”

“We shall be attacked shortly. “

“Then we shall fight.” Audric spoke with more bravado than he actually felt.

“No, until your father or uncle return we wait. Do not argue.”

Water and food were moved to the cellar. Collecting all four boys, you were prepared to hide with them. You then realized that they would look for you and your children if they couldn’t find any of you. Taking a deep breath, you ordered the boys to block the entry and exit to the cellar. The outside and inside doors were well hidden. As long as they stayed quiet, they should be fine. Getting to your knees you drew your children around you. One by one they were given a hug and a kiss.

“My sons. My brave sons. You must stay quiet, please promise me that you will?” When they nodded. “Do not allow entrance to the cellar by anyone but your father, your uncle, or myself. I love each one of you with the whole of my heart. Do your mother proud my sons.”

Locking the door behind you, a search for the Lord of the Manor was given. You found none of the servants or him anywhere. They could have already hidden themselves but, you knew in your heart that was not the case. Back up to the family chambers, you charged out of your dress. Raymond had left old clothes behind and you put them on. The scent of his skin lingered. A bittersweet smile appeared on your lips.

“I love you my husband. I hope I might do you proud.”

Raymond’s old sword was left behind, it would have been a gift to your 3rd son when he was ready to start practicing such skills. Today though, today it was yours. You had a certain amount of skill with weaponry yourself. Raymond and your father both saw to it that you had the ability to protect yourself. Hair pins were changed out with ones that were tipped in poison. Finally, knives in their sheaths were added and a few others within easy access of your bedroom.

Looking out the shuttered window, the village had already scattered. Fires were started everywhere. It wouldn’t be long before the raiders breached the castle.

What you didn’t know was that your two older sons had left. They were able to find their horses and one went to the west in search of his father and the other went to the east in search of his uncle. The two smaller ones were sleeping unafraid for now.

You heard the clatter of the great door opening. Someone must have been a traitor. If you could, you would drive your own sword through them upon finding out their names.

The wait was long. You heard the raiders looting, but nothing else. They were starting at the bottom and working to the top. They were unafraid, so they knew that the castle was left without the most important of men.

Sabastein reached the encampment of his father in just 2 hours. Moving such a large encampment of men was slow and tedious. When he jumped off the horse, the exhausted creature died.

“FATHER! FATHER! THE CASTLE HAS BEEN ATTCKED”

Fouchier, Raymond’s lieutenant, stepped out of a tent. “Boy! What it is you speak of?”

“Where is my father? There has been an attack on the castle. He needs to return and quickly.”

“He is with a hunting party providing dinner, Sabastein. I can send a couple of men to help fight with you.”

“NO! You don’t understand. I came here and Audric went for our uncle. Mother has hidden our two younger brothers but she is alone. The servants ran off and we have no idea where grandfather is. Mother is alone.” The last three words were punctuated sharp.

It was at that point that Raymond De Merville came walking up through the center of camp. Others followed each carrying a string of game birds tied by their necks. Raymond’s eyes narrowed in fury at the sight of his son. “SABASTEIN! Were you not told to stay home?”

With his sword in the ground, Sabastein knelt. “Father, Mama is in danger. There has been an attack on the castle.”

Raymond roared with anger. He noted that his son used the term Mama, which he hadn’t used since he was perhaps 5.

“Fouchier, round up all the men. Leave everything except weapons and horses. We ride now. Lead them to the castle and find a horse for my son. I am leaving.”

Fury and hate ripped through the heart of Raymond De Merville. His war horse was mounted and with a kick, Raymond was off. Nothing would get in his path that he would not slay without a thought. The gall of raiders to attack his home. If they touched one hair on his wife’s head death would be too good for these fools.


	4. Chapter 4

It seemed like hours had passed, it could have been minutes, you didn’t know. To be frank, you didn’t care either. You sat upon the bed that you shared with Raymond and listened to the ruckus from below. They had not found your sons at least. That much you knew.

You prayed to god to just allow you to see Raymond and your boys one more time. You prayed for their safety and wellbeing. That was all that you asked. You knew that God would be kind to you, you were faithful to him. Already, you knew that your life would end. Most likely, it would end here in this room.

Your lips brushed against the crucifix around your neck, removing your wedding band it was kissed too, you hid both items along with a letter that you had written while waiting for the brutes below. It was placed where he and only he could find it. Men started thundering up the staircase. By the sound of it, it was 4 or 5 of them and then perhaps 4 or 5 more.

It would take them a bit to get the heavy wooden door opened. It would take even more time to get the one to your room opened as well, so you waited. Your hand rested lightly on the pommel of the sword. There wasn’t any need to waste energy now. The hood of Raymond’s old cloak hid your hair and face. The too large clothing made your body look shapeless, childish even. It was enough that they may mistake you for a frightened child at first, with any luck.

The doorway to the family quarters had finally been breached. The sounds of axes hitting the door to your room gifted your God with one last prayer. You took the piece of wood acting as the lock and turned it. Forcing the door outward yourself with a kick, one man entered.

A jab to the eye with a poisoned hair pin felled that first one fast. He was foolish, not even a weapon drawn. Apparently, they weren’t expecting anyone. A knife to the gut cut another one, it took all your strength to pull the long knife upwards, gutting the man like a deer. Jumping back two more men entered. You held the sword out with a steady hand. You thanked the heavens for your father for teaching you to fight and fight well. You thanked Raymond for teaching you the finesse of fight. A silent prayer was offered to your late father, Papa I am coming home to you soon.

It was only when you saw their garb, did you make a sound. They wore the clothing of once Crusaders on their own Pilgrimage now. This was to be how they paid their Church. You were not Catholic. These men were just pawns of the Pope, you knew this to be true, but still their intent made your soul scream for blood.

“Be a good lad. Put the sword down. We won’t hurt you.”

“Get. Out. Of. My. Home.” The words were a fierce hiss.

“Boy. I command you in the name of god’s messenger on earth to put your weapon down.”

Snorting, you couldn’t help but laugh. It was not the laugh of a lady but one of a warrior. These fools had no idea.

Turning as if you were going to hand over the sword, you spun at the right time. The blade of another knife sinking in to the temple of one of the men’s head. Three more appeared behind that one. You cursed again and again.

The seeming leader of this little band of marauders, he grabbed your arm and threw you back. You skidded on the heavy rug and when your head hit the wall, the hood fell back. Your eyes were blazing. Wiping the blood from your lower lip you smiled an unpleasant smile and stood.

When they realized you were not a child, two of the men started to laugh.

“Well well well, I have heard of the French women and their wild ways. Now I will get to try one.”

Laughter left your bloodied lips. “Truly you are a fool.” Your lips pulled back in a semblance of a smile, but far more sinister. “Touch me and die thief.” You spat blood at the one that spoke.  
He bull rushed you in a half second and started pushing you to the wall. His breeches were undone and then, no longer laughing, the man stumbled back. You had sliced from the femoral artery to his groin, his scrotum was now ripped open by your blade.

There was shouting down from below. You heard his voice. Your Raymond was here! Everything was going to be alright! All of the men left turned tail and ran, except one. He hit you from the side. It gave you just the right angle for a hair pin to drive into his chest and a blade to slice his throat from ear to ear.

You staggered back. The men were being picked off one by one, to die on the stone floor of your home. You couldn’t help but smile and thank your God.

Lurching past the men’s bodies. You suddenly felt light headed and looked down. Sticking out from the side of your belly was a blade. It pierced your flesh and only the hilt showed. Tears flowed, recognizing the pain for the first time was enough to keep you from crying out.

When you hit the floor, you were already unconscious.

Raymond and his older sons were covered in the blood of dead men. He sent them to fetch the younger two boys while he looked for you and his father. When he saw his children again, he asked where you and his father were.

“We don’t know Father. Mother locked us down in the cellar but we got out to find you and Uncle. Mother was going to hide but we haven’t seen Grandfather since before then.”

“Search the castle. I will find your mother.”

Raymond moved on instinct, up to the family quarters. He know your mind that you would try to lure the looters away from the cellar and to you. He knew that you were also a fine fighter, even your sons were not to your caliber, yet.

He followed the littering of dead bodies. Stabbing each of them once more, to make sure they were indeed dead, he saw no sign of you. Perhaps you were carried off? Maybe it was instinct, perhaps he heard a noise but he turned. Raymond De Merville moved with his heart in his mouth.

He could see you were breathing but there was no sign of an injury. He knew the dead was all of your handiwork. Pride for his wife pushed him further. Wearing of his clothing was ingenious but he knew that he would never let you live it down. When he picked you up and removed a fallen curtain from your body, he realized you were mortally wounded.

Placing you on the bed, he climbed behind you. It was the tears of your husband that awakened you. You were once more in his arms. You felt a certain peace cover your body like a favorited blanket. Reaching up, you cupped his cheek, stroking against his beard.

Raymond turned his face, kissing your palm. “You cannot leave me my Lioness. I cannot survive without you.”

“You must. You cannot leave our sons.” Coughing a bit brought blood to your lips. “I will see you again my Raymond. We will see each other in paradise.”

He rocked you, holding on. “My sweet sweet Anastasie. Please. Don’t leave me.”

“God has made that choice. Not I. I just needed to see you again. Our sons are in the cellar. Unharmed I believe.”

“They are my love. They are. Audric and Sabastein came for me and my brother. If only we had been faster. If only I had come up here first. Maybe…”

You placed a finger on his lips, shushing Raymond. “They are truly your boys. They listen about as well as you do.” You smiled gently. “Listen to me this time Raymond De Merville. It is not your fault. These were men intent on harming. They do not have your kind and courageous heart my love.”

“Please my brave, beautiful Lioness. You cannot leave me. Do not leave me.”

“Tis as God wishes my husband. He granted my dying wish. That I could see you one last time.” You moved upwards with difficulty. Your lips met your husband’s in a kiss. “I will always love you my Raymond. You have always owned me heart and soul.”

Tears wet your cheeks, tracking through the blood on your skin, the blood of others. “Do not permit time to bitter you Raymond. You and I have had a love like none other. Be grateful for that gift granted.”

Still Raymond cried. His loud sobs brought his older sons running in, with the younger boys in tow. Sabastian saw first what was happening, Raymond glanced over and shook his head. Sabastian turned and told the others to go. He went with them. He knew what was happening.

The rocking of Raymond lulled you for a bit. You were going in and out of consciousness. There wasn’t much pain now. Everything felt strange. You were no longer truly within your own body you thought.

“Raymond? Please do not forget the love we had. Please take care of our sons.”

“What about my daughter?” The tears became angry ones now.

You smiled softly at him, stroking his cheek with the back of your hand then tracing down the scar by his eye. “You will meet her in paradise my love. We will be there waiting for you.” It took some effort but you pulled the knife free. Your last words were whispered softly.

“I love you my husband, always and forever there will be our love for each other. Always. Hold on to that and remember that you were loved by me fully, completely and absolutely”

Raymond held on to your body tight, his head tipped back he cursed God, and the world. His fury at losing you was too much. He wanted revenge and he wanted it now.

The boys wished to see their mother one more time before she was buried. Raymond would not allow it. He cleaned her body with a gentle touch, touching her in death as he did in life. The clothes of his was replaced with a gown that was the last he saw her in. Within the coffin were death shrouds made from both the gowns she had worn with they married and they were betrothed. It was the beginning middle and end of their lives together.

Anastasie De Merville was buried in the forest with a barely marked grave. Raymond would be able to find it blind. It was the first place that they confessed their undying love for each other. He felt it fitting because that love was gone, dead, with Raymond’s one true love.

The two of the younger boys were to be raised by his brother’s wife. She would do well by them. Raymond made a pact with his elder sons. Anything to do with the Pope or the Church will be destroyed. The hatred of all things to do with the Crusades, Pilgrimages, and the Church were to be cruelly dealt with. There was a price to pay from that day forward and no coin could ever match it. Only blood.


	5. Chapter 5

It was over. Raymond De Merville had buried his wife. The two younger sons of his and Anastasie were with his brother and his wife in different lands now. His two older sons Sabastein and Audric were gathering the men and needed items to go on a hunt for Raymond’s father. Raymond was certain he would find his father, coward that his elder was. It would have been too risky an escape to have taken Anastasie and the boys. So, he sacrificed them for his own safety. Bastard.

The castle was still a mess. Raymond didn’t care. He would never return to this place again. He would never walk behind the castle’s walls. The letter and pieces of jewelry were, of course, found by him. The pair of wedding rings, both his and hers, were worn around his neck. A simple piece of leather held the rings low onto his chest.

He refused to wear the crucifix. Raymond blamed god for what happened. He gave it to his eldest son to remember his mother.

The letter was still unopened. Turning the folded thick paper that was sealed with a drop of wax in his hands, Raymond De Merville was afraid. Before they married, Anastasie used to draw sweet little pictures and leave them in objects where Raymond was sure to find them. He had almost all of them. If this was the last time, Raymond felt that he would die of heartbreak.

Still looking at the paper, Raymond had taken everything he valued from their room. He could care less for the jewels that meant nothing. He took mementos of a long love now lost to him. This was the last piece and still he sat, afraid.

There was no one left in the castle, alive, but he. The boys had rang the bells and cleared out everyone. The silence was deafening. Finally, breaking the seal, he read the last words of his beloved wife.

_My dearest Raymond,_

_I know my death is imminent as I write to thee. I don’t fear death because of the love we shared. The first memory of my life is of you. We were both children. I was perhaps three and you five. You were feeding me apples sliced by your tiny knife. I loved you then and I still love you now. If nothing else, our love has grown larger and stronger than I believe either of us realize._

_I hope you understand why I removed my wedding ring. If something were to happen, no one should be allowed to touch it, other than you or I._

_Do you remember our wedding day? Through all of the celebration, all we wished was to be alone with each other without worry of what others would think. So tied we were to customs, it all seems so silly now. My life was never my own. It was lovingly, freely, given to you forever. It was the most important choice I ever made, and also the best one. I would not have changed a thing except for to give us more time together._

_I long for the first days after we wed right now. We were so young and free. We never did live by the codes that were ours to follow. The long rides far past the forest, with our horses racing across the land, only to come together by the water and under the trees. Ours was a marriage of convention, yes. Yet, we did marry for love far more than anything else._

_You are my one and only true love, my Raymond. I know I was yours as well._

_Our love bore us 4 beautiful boys, each one loved and cherished by us. Please my love, stay true to our boys. Allow them to know the love from which they were born. You are still a young man. Please do not permit my memory to keep you from the arms of another woman. I know you need someone to speak with and share your world with, just like we had done for 30 years. Make peace with what happened to us and do not become bitter. I beg of you, do not do anyone harm on my account._

_My brooding blue eyed husband, please do not allow yourself to hate and lose that part of you I loved. God does things for a reason, and while the reason is his alone to know, know that I wait for you in Paradise._

_Do not permit our sons to know hate, bitterness, and cruelty. That is not a world for them. We did not live in such a world in our lifetime together, make sure that they feel love as well. Remember, we were the ones they looked to for their lessons on life. They will be warriors, knights and soldiers like their father but they saw our love for each other and for them._

_I miss you already my sweet Raymond. My heart aches knowing that I will be gone from you. I will miss waking up to you watching me sleep. Your hands on my flesh in the quiet darkness of our bedroom was some of the most divine moments of my life. To feel your weight over me once again, is something I will dream about even in paradise._

_Remember my love, the laughter we shared. Remember the love that we carried for each other in our hearts and soul. Remember that you are loved from the great beyond. I love you my Raymond. I love you more than anything in this world. I know my death will be hard on you, but know that I didn’t go without a fight. Know that no other man will have touched me but you, because I would never permit such to happen._

_My beloved, remember the goodness in life. Remember all of it. I beg of you here and now that you won’t seek revenge. Promise me upon my grave that you will not permit this to happen._

_Allow your heart to beat and heal my husband. We will see each other again. Tell our 4 boys about our life together._

_I love you._

_Yours forevermore,_

_Anastasie De Merville_

_Wife of Raymond De Merville._

_Mother of Sabastein, Audric, Baudri, and Mace_

_Always and forever, your Lioness._

 

At the bottom of the page where Anastasie signed her name, was a little silly drawing that looked like to cats kissing. The paper was crushed in Raymond’s hand. He screamed a deafening scream in the room. There were no more tears left for him to cry.

“I’m sorry my Anastasie. I cannot give you the promise you ask of me. I am so very sorry.”

So instead, he picked up a blade. It was tiny in his large hands. It had been the same blade that he had fed his wife apples with all those years ago. He traced the scar around his eye with the sharp point of the blade. He needed pain. He needed to feel something besides the anger, hurt, despair in his heart. His wife was the one who sewed the cut, although so many years ago she wasn’t yet his wife. With blood dripping down his face, Raymond put the last letter he would ever get from his love on the bed. The torch was dropped on it. He did that down the series of rooms. Furniture, wood, tapestries were lit. Everything that his wife loved about him was left that day burning in the castle.

While the structure of the great stone castle would stay, everything in it would not. Raymond walked out of the gate and turned. Silent and still, he watched the fires catch throughout. Jewels, tapestries, paintings worth incredible amounts of gold, destroyed. His heart was already in ashes in the bedroom that he shared with his Lioness. Let it burn to the ground, he thought. This was a place of anger and heartbreak, no longer the loving home it once was. If his father still lived, he could search for the ashes for anything of value. There was nothing left of value there for Raymond.

Raymond joined his sons and men at the armory. The smoke and ash were now starting to spread. His men were alarmed. Raymond only spoke two words.

“Leave it.”

Upon his great war horse once again, Raymond started on and never looked back. He would exact his payment for everything that happened in blood. No amount of coin mattered to him now, only vengeance and blood.

 

 

-Fin-


End file.
